Sisters leave their cats and dogs at home after moving out, leaving their student sister as a sole caretaker: '[They've] done nothing to help provide financially or care-wise.'

Author image for Ayala Sorotsky
Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor
Dec 28, 2025 1:00 PM EST

Let's start by making something very clear, something we believe in wholeheartedly - when you adopt a pet, you take on a years-long commitment. And it's not just a simple commitment, like "not opening the letter until I'm 18", "keeping my best friend's secret", or "maintaining my room clean and tidy". It's a commitment that involves another living, breathing, existing creature. When you adopt a pet, you become a de facto parent.

That's why we can't understand people who adopt (even if out of sheer love for animals), but then decide that treating their pets can't fit their schedules. We've heard all too many times about pets being abandoned outright, but "soft abandonment" is still abandonment.

And what do we mean by that? Take this young student, for example. She dutifully takes care of her sisters' pets - five cats and two dogs. She loves the animals, truly. But she wasn't the one who chose to adopt. Her sisters chose the pets, each their own. But then they moved out, and just… left their pets, all seven of them, in their childhood home, when their student sister and their mom live. And can you really blame the student taking care of the pets she didn't choose for saying she can't take care of them anymore?

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  • 01
    TLDR: sisters dumped their animals onto me with no help, as i start school fulltime in spring and work a min wage job nearly fulltime, the care has become overwhelming.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 02
    AIO sending this text asking for help & how can I improve it ? for context, I have 5 cats and two dogs.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 03
    One dog is mine. when my sister, {A}, married she left her elderly reactive "soul dog" at my parents home (whom i still live w/) then adopted 3 cats knowing hes reactive.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 04
    She has done nothing to help provide financially or care wise, and when she does come over she often guilts me into feeling like a bad care taker because I cant take the two dogs on daily walks very easily (they pull, her dog is poorly trained and highly reactive, they are also both bigger dogs and im under 5', 100 lbs...I am only able to walk them with the help of another) My other sister, B, bought an unfixed cat three years ago who has since carried two litters to term, resulting in a total o
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 05
    despite constant begging since the moment she got the cat to get it fixed, she hasn't and has also moved out and provides only half of the given expenses unreliably.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 06
    (I have gotten the cat fixed out of my own expenses, which is not a lot.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 07
    I work my minimum wage job 30-40 hrs a week, my sisters make double what I do and one recently got a $1000 bonus) Their irresponsibility has made me and my mom (partly, she works full time too and is gone a lot longer than i am), the sole caretakers of 7 animals.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 08
    I am at my wits end, and I know I cannot keep going down this road.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 09
    I start nursing school soon and I know I will not be home at all to provide for them at even the very basic level I already am.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 10
    Rehoming them is an option, but a last one. The dogs are elderly with their own health issues (one w/ joint pain, other has seizures and both are reactive) Would I be overreacting sending this message ?
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 11
    : "I cannot keep taking care of all seven animals by myself. I'm at my limit.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 12
    I'm working 9-10 hour days almost every day, on top of schoolwork, and then spending close to an hour every day doing litter, feeding each pet individually, letting the dogs out, and managing everything alone.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 13
    I have to go to petsmart almost every other week and spend over $60+ on just cat things alone.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 14
    This isn't sustainable. There needs to be a real distribution of responsibility. Any one can come by to help with feeding, litter, or letting the dogs out..especially since we all live within 15 minutes of each other.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 15
    Once school starts again in the spring, will not be home most of the day, and I cannot continue being the sole caretaker.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 16
    While mom helps at a limited capacity; we all know her schedule. also with her leaving for the [out of the country for 2 months] soon, i literally cannot do this by myself.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 17
    this needs to change now and I cannot stress how important it is this gets figured out, especially as dog 1 getting way older and cant walk, dog 2 is becoming needier, along with the cats becoming extremely much.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 18
    We need to set up a shared schedule or another plan now. I need help maintaining their care and I cannot continue to be their sole caretaker.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 19
    pixie-ann NOR you do not want a shared schedule. That will never work. The lazy people will never show up when they are meant to and you'll be left to fill in the gaps and chase them up and listen to their bullshit excuses.
    via pixie-ann
  • 20
    Pick a date. Tell both of them that by X date you need to come and collect the animals or you will be taking them to the shelter. You should no longer participate in any care at all or any costs for the care of any animals that aren't yours. Stop letting people take advantage of you.
    via pixie-ann
  • 21
    OP III-Effective-17 it sucks that you're right on them coming to help not working. One of my sisters has the ability to work from home and lives only 3 turns away/a 10 minute drive... asked her to check on HER dog once while she was off and she couldnt be bothered my entire 10 hour shift.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 22
    It hurts to hear, especially because I am attached to these animals and her elderly dog has been in my life since childhood, but they deserve better than what I can give & im gonna drive myself insane.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 23
    Im going to see if she would be willing to at-least just take her dog before I see about rehoming him. I cannot fucking stand people who get these pets as if their not longterm commitments & then just leaving them.
    via Ill-Effective-17
  • 24
    Traditional_Dig_1857 NOR. You need to get these animals placed in loving homes. In my city it isn't legal to have that many animals and there is a reason for it.
    via Traditional_Dig_1857
  • 25
    Trick_Butterfly2644 If they love their pets they will come through for them. You have done enough.
    via Trick_Butterfly2644
  • 26
    Objective_Cricket476 Take them to the shelter. You have already been begging for help. Depending on where you are it could take a while to get them in to a shelter. So I would just go and check it out. Tell them afterwards that the animals will be dropped off at whatever time/date. That if they want them to come get them by then. Think of how the animals will be happier in a new home. Being taken care of as they should be.
    via Objective_Cricket476
  • 27
    RubySnowfire 1508 Give them notice that if they do not resume care of their animals by a certain date, the regrettably you will have to take them to a shelter. It's a terrible option, but the animals have been dumped on you, now you really have no choice. The sisters don't help, they have abandoned the animals.
    via RubySnowfire1508
  • 28
    Jmfroggie Call animal control for abandonment so that you don't have to pay to surrender the animals to a shelter.
    via Jmfroggie
  • 29
    Granite Rose067 Tell them, in writing, what date your will giving them to a no kill shelter or privately rehoming the cats. Stick to it.
    via GraniteRose067
  • 30
    Ilovecheesecake68 Its called adulting. This is the message you need to send them; "Dear sisters I'm fed up begging so now I'm just going to tell you outright to come and get your animals or rehome them or I WILL. Shonking your responsibility onto me and our mother has gone on long enough and I will no longer tolerate it. Not only are you bad pet parents but this many animals is against our areas bylaws and we risk getting a fine.
    via Ilovecheesecake68
  • 31
    This is not fair on your animals but it's not fair on our mother or me and you are failing as daughters and sisters to expect me to be the caregiver for your dumped pets. You have until blah blah blah to do something about it. Although I don't like having to do this you've left me no choice so they'll be going to new Holmes/the pound or whatever comes first and I will not be taking any criticism for this decision including guilt tripping or gaslighting because at the end of the day they were you
    via Ilovecheesecake68

  • This is a very direct suggestion for a message. It's harsh, but it drives the point home. It sounds like the sisters are not even aware of the emotional, financial, and physical strain their choice (deliberate or not) is causing their sister and mother to experience. It's not a thing to consider lightly, but if this is the sort of message she will eventually send - it makes sure the gravitas of the situation is understood.

    Besides, pets or not, when a person dumps their responsibilities on another - without even asking, mind you - is wrong. Just add the facts that we're talking about sisters, a familial bond, and the fact we're talking here about pets - living, breathing animals, who need love and care - it makes the situation all the more grave. The sisters' lack of responsibility is staggering.

    But would a message this straightforward work in this situation? We're not the ones to judge. But it's definitely an option worth considering. The fact that her sisters didn't do anything until this point serves as proof that they need a “shake” about how they chose to take care (or not, in this case) of their pets. These cats and dogs deserve better.

  • 32
    DeeHarperLewis Take their pets to their homes and leave them there. If they protest tell them that they are responsible and if they don't take care of their own pets they will be rehomed. If you don't take action, nothing will change.
    via DeeHarperLewis
  • 33
    a large group of pets sitting next to each other: cats, dogs, and one guinea pig
    via gurinaleksandr

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responsibility family drama dogs pets students sisters family feud family sister Cats
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